Love will tear us apart.

I see the lighthouse through the sleet and the rain

This story's old but it goes on and on until we disappear.

I spend most of my time convincing myself I will die young, most probably of (insert any sort of horrible and painful illness here) instead of enjoying the fact that I am healthy. I've spent hundreds of dollars on therapy, only to be so ashamed of myself I couldn't help but lie to my therapist. I can't stand crowds, I can't be alone, I can't stand unknown situations and I can't go to places I've never been before without suffering major panic attacks. When the tube carriage pulls in the station, I have to keep my back touching the wall, eyes closed, because I'm scared I might jump in front of it. I can't be left alone on a balcony.

I should be locked up, but I'm not.
I'm thankful every day that I'm free to do as I please - but sometimes life is a bit too much, and I want someone to make everything right, someone who can convince me every day that I will be healthy forever. And mean it. And I want to be happy, so I can stand close to the rails and know I'm safe.