I am your prince(ss)

I'd love to swerve off and blame it on the fog, but I've been talking on these roads too much lately. They'd spill all my secrets.

This city won’t let me go.

-Mr W, 2004.

It's been six years, and I still can't help but defend you. Tell them how sweet you are, even though you're not anymore. You remind me of who I used to be, and I hate how I turned out. I hate how you turned out. Your words still haunt me, and I am thankful for the memories (even though they weren't so great) but I've forgotten the smell of your aftershave a long time ago. I am thankful that you wrote a line, a story to remember all the worst moments of my life by. I wouldn't want to forget them. Or you.

Welcome the night.

So there it is: I just think I've got the perfect skin tone to match the color of your sheets. But I'm not sure how that works out when you're living out of suitcases, a different hotel room every night for several months - white on white (4th floor, 16th floor, 41st floor, 8th floor, and the penthouse suite too if you get lucky).

Les choses que je ne peux pas dire, dans les mots de J. Casablancas.

Ten decisions shape your life,
You'll be aware of 5 about,
7 ways to go through school,
Either you're noticed or left out,
7 ways to get ahead,
7 reasons to drop out,
When I said ' I can see me in your eyes',
You said 'I can see you in my bed',
That's not just friendship, that's romance too,
You like music we can dance to.

Sit me down,
Shut me up,
I'll calm down,
And I'll get along with you.

There is a time when we all fail,
Some people take it pretty well,
Some take it all out on themselves,
Some they just take it out on friends,
Oh everybody plays the game,
and if you don't you're called insane.

Don't don't don't don't it's not safe no more,
I've got to see you one more time,
Soon you were born,
In 1984.

Everybody was well dressed,
And everybody was a mess,
6 things without fail you must do,
So that your woman loves just you,
Oh all the girls played mental games,
And all the guys were dressed the same.

Why not try it all,
If you only remember it once,
Oooh ooooooh.

Je me censure tellement que j'ai l'impression d'en perdre des bouts parfois. C'est pour le mieux. Je suis dans un mauvais état d'esprit ces temps-ci.

The road outside my house is paved with good intentions

The problem with words is that you never really have to mean them. You never really have to care. But you know, it goes both ways.

Sleep well

8 hours from now

Je veux des murs sombres, du papier-peint. Des fleurs sur toutes les surfaces vernies de ma maison. Je veux reconduire mon fils à ses pratiques de hockey le samedi matin à 6 heures, le regarder apprendre à patiner, avec mon café, mon mari et la satisfaction de savoir qu'il est le meilleur de tout les enfants. Je veux être la quand il va compter son premier but, et quand il va recevoir son premier bulletin. Je veux lire mon journal le dimanche, et je veux faire un double de clés à ma femme de ménage. Partir en voyage, répartir mes photos dans des dizaines d’albums, demander à mon mari d’aller porter ma voiture au garage. Je veux juste une existance heureuse et aisée - me réveiller demain, avoir 30 ans. Avoir passé au travers de ce temps incertain, supposé être les plus belles années de ma vie, et en être ressortie plus forte.